Friday, August 31, 2007

Matira Matibay!

whew. kakadating lang namin sa bahay, galing sa "Parokya ni Edgar, Matira Matibay" concert. :)

thanks to my sister and her friends' free tickets, nakanood din ako. :)

ayun, astig, saya! :D

first band that played was Moonstar88, ganda ng boses grabe! next was, according to VJ Luis: Urbandub -- but surprisingly it was Spongecola that started playing. haha. but the VJ's apologized for the mix-up after SC's set. haha. then next, real this time, was Urbandub. gawd they were good. galing talaga sobra. i've loved them since ever, but tonight was the first time i ever watched them perform live. they played Endless, A Silent Whisper, Frailty, and First Of Summer. grabe, galing talaga! then next was Kamikazee, as always, nakakatawa talaga si Jay. Ang kulet! they played Seksi seksi, Narda, and Tsinelas. then finally, Parokya na!

they played i think more than 20 songs (ang dami eh, i lost count). astig. galing nila! i've never really been that huge a fan of Parokya, pero hands down. ang galing. gusto ko na umiyak when Gab sang my favorite Parokya song. hahaha. Tapos andun din si Vinci, and i even got to shake his hand! --inikot niya buong theater eh. hehe. Nagperform din si Gloc-9, tapos dapat kasama si Francis M, kaso sayang kasi he couldn't make it daw. :( pero surprise surprise, in the middle of the song lumabas siya! niiice. :)) They also played with Kamikazee, Ordertaker of course, at Humanap Ka Ng Pangit. hehe. Tapos nagsolo din si Vinci, ang kinanta niya.... You Look Wonderful Tonight! yah, as in the classic ballad. haha astig! Their last song was Harana, but their grand finale was Harana "part 2". puno ang langit ng bading, at kay lamig pa ng ice cream...^^

At kaya siguro matira matibay yung title nung concert, kasi ilang beses natapos yung concert. haha. last song na daw, tas papatayin na yung lights, pero bitin pa daw eh, so they'll start playing again. hehe ilang beses yun pramis, kaya when they finished playing their last song, medio napaisip pa kami, tunay na ba 'to? hehe

ayun., i really enjoyed the concert!=D galing, astig nila.


unfortunately sira pa rin si Invi, so i'll just try to steal pics to post here soon. >.<

whew. medio kakapagod din (medio lang kasi wala naman kami sa moshpit. hehe), so i'll be off now :|



And I know it's stupid on my part
to say that I love you
Even though I know you hate me
And you don't know why you do...

posted by riela jae at 6:23 AM

Friday, August 24, 2007

i still blame you. because you never put an end to what you promised to begin.

i know i don't have to forget, but i wish i could just stop remembering. it had been too long ago after all.


we were too young and innocent then. what we thought was real back then should only be memories of childish silliness now. it should have been nothing but our young hearts' desire to beat. it should have been nothing at all.


yet your words, which now seems to have come from another reality, still echo inside my head. your words and your promises were all i ever had. your promise to come back, your promise to continue what you have begun and never let it end. promises i had put so much faith into. it was the only thing i could hold on to if i wanted things to last, because everything else that was you had gone beyond my reach. but you broke all your promises, and it was only then that i realized that i had been holding on to them so much.


it took me three years of your absence to realize that what i felt for you was true. that i had believed every single word you said. that i had been waiting for you all along. and it only took a moment of seeing your smile, alongside hers, for me to know that it was completely over.


there was never anything between us because i had been such a coward. because i was the only one who thought it was the right thing to do, and i let others decide for me. or was it because what you felt was not as real as i thought?


i had so many questions in my mind. questions that never found answers, same way i never found you. but i knew you were happy and there was nothing left for me to do but let it all go. and after trying and trying and trying, i thought i had.


i've been through it, but now here i go again. i thought that seeing you happy was enough for me. i thought it was enough for me to accept that fate chose different paths for us. i thought it was enough for me to leave the already distant past behind.


but i hear these songs and it all just comes back as if it were just yesterday. why do i still even think of you? why do i even feel like i actually still miss you?


why is it so hard? why can't i just wake up and know for certain that i'm over you? why can't i just not feel anything for you? you're just supposed to be a part of my past, of a time when we were carefree and happiness was all we wanted to matter, of a time when we thought we were rebellling but actually being innocent after all. of a time we should be looking back on and laughing at ourselves for believing that love was real. because i know it was not real at all back then.


but as i said and as i keep telling myself, that had been too long ago.


i deny it, but truth is, i still can't help asking myself, what if i still love you? :'(

posted by riela jae at 12:01 AM

Sunday, August 19, 2007

6 weird things.

THANK GOODNESS for this. something else to do other than my MP. i've done too much stupidities today to try and work on my MP, i'm afraid i might do something even more stupid and mess it up like i almost did my computer. don't ask me what i've done, i humiliated myself to myself enough already, if that made any sense to you. hahaha

anyways. what is "this" all about anyways? Homer tagged me, so here i go.

since i got tagged, i have to list down 6 WEIRD things about me. then, i get to tag 6 other people who'd do pretty much the same thing. okay, quite simple.

here goes, then...


i am dead scared of BLOOD, when it's near my FINGERNAILS. i think that qualifies as weird. real weird. i'm scared of blood, wherever it is, but when i see it coming out from somewhere near my fingernails, i get close to collapsing. and i mean that seriously, no exaggeration. it's happened to me twice, on the only two times that i remember i got a cut near my nails. the first time, i was slicing a tomato and the kife slipped, went straight to the side of one of my fingernails and left a cut deep enough for blood to ooze out. next thing i knew, i was feeling so dizzy i had to lean on the kitchen countertop for support, i felt cold sweat all over my body, and my vision was going dark and there was this compressing feeling in my ears. that freaked the hell out of me i even started crying. a few minutes and a glass of water after, i was feeling normal again, but i really couldn't forget that feeling. then, fastforward to about more than a year later (roughly a month ago), my sister and i was out for a manicure. i'm pretty sure you could guess what happened. the manicurist trimmed the skin below one of my nails too much it started bleeding. then the exact same thing happened to me, the nausea, the cold sweat, the dark vision, the compressing feeling in my ears. freaky, i tell you. i'm aware of what i'm feeling, but i really could not control it. my sister said my lips were almost gray and i looked like i was about to faint anytime, right there in the salon. there you go, weird fact # 1. whew. just remembering it gives me chills already.


i don't mind doing the dishes, just NOT the GLASSES. i still haven't found an explanation to this, but whenever i have to do the dishes, i just hate washing the glasses. give me a hundred plates to wash, just not the glasses.


uhm, i don't use capital letters on my blogs. well, laziness to use the shift button i guess. haha. but if you'd notice, i hardly ever follow that particular rule in writing sentences, basic as it is. maybe i got used to typing in MS Word, where the capitalizations are corrected automatically, before i started blogging, where there's no autocorrect or something. hehe


i don't like dogs in general, but i share my dad's dream of owning a pug. when i was in 5th grade, a classmate and i went around our subdivision on a bike (yep, just A bike) when we got to this street where a dog suddenly appeared out of nowhere and chased us! from then on, i became phobic to dogs, to the point that i'd freak out just hearing their distant barks. i'd even have serious fights with my mom just because of my fear, which she thinks is just kaartehan. anyways, the 'phobia' has been continuously subsiding now, though i still don't like seeing and hearing dogs on the streets. last thursday though, my mom and i went to Cartimar, where the aisles of pet stores are endless, and we saw this 2-month-old pug puppy. my dad has always wanted a pug puppy, and when i saw this puppy, i understood why he's always wanted one. he's not exactly the usual "cute" you'd expect of a dog (y'know, with the thick hair and the lovely face), but he was sooo adorable! if only he didn't cost too much, he'd probably be ours by now already. >.<


i used to hate seeing "emo" or "goth" types of people, but truth be told, i sometimes wish i could be like that. well, TRUTH really be told, yah i do. you know, the thick eyeliners, the face half-covered in bangs, the black outfits and all. but it's not just about the look. the rebelliousness, the guts, and sometimes even the apathy. :( i always wish i could just NOT care about certain things. ohwell. but if i achieve my dream of being like that one day, i'd be the goodgirl kind of goth. haha, now that's weird. go figure.


when i say i can't get enough a song, i REALLY mean it. i can have just one song on repeat on my iPod for weeks on end and not get tired of lsitening to it over and over and over to the hundredth power. and that's not another exaggeration. just last night, i checked out the play count of the most played songs on my iPod, and Hum Hallelujah was on top, with 147 plays! ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-SEVEN. i don't know how i did that. at three minutes and fifty seconds, that means i spent at least 8 hours in just about a week just listening to the same song. over and over. haha. next is What's Another Day and Samson both with just 45. hahaha. really, where did those one hundred plays come from?? hahahaha.




weeellllll. that's it. i hope those 6 facts are weird enough for you. haha. now i get to tag!
let's see. hmm.. can i deviate from the rules? it's just for fun anyways. so you, yes you, reading this right now, TAG! haha :P

posted by riela jae at 9:01 PM

Sunday, August 05, 2007

short wavelengths with higher frequencies

it's 3:01 AM. later at 10 AM, i'm supposed to be at school half-listening to my prof mimic the sounds of dogs and cats and crying babies to reiterate how speech was developed. later on, i'll find my head on top of my desk, my things scattered and neglected, my breathing laboured and my mind wandering in another time and space, unattached from what is really happening in that former-cupboard classroom of ours.

and all that is due to my nat sci report.

never in my life did i dream of going back to the thing i hated most before--physics. never did i imagine myself dwelling on stellar evolutions, schrodinger's equations and some decomposed and decaying geniuses responsible for the discussion of inertial frame of references, quarks, wave-particle duality, hadrons, antimatter and all that is peculiar to the normal.

whether i understood it or not, i still studied for the exam. and good thing was, my attempts of "grasping the concept" is somewhat near successful.

i just wish i'll still remember them tomorrow. **fingers-crossed

so in the short time that my sisters and i decided to go home, i went for it even if my hands were quite full. when i went home, everything appeared in brighter perspective. it was as if i my worries for the next day suddenly disappeared, as if i had shunned off myself to concepts of particle accelerators and all that formulas for insanity, as if i was in the place where solitude and happiness are limitless and where problems are left outdoors. there was always something special about home. and no matter how where i go, i always long for it. and in everytime i stay, i just wish i could stay forever.

then suddenly my dream bubble pops and i found myself sliding in the car waving goodbye to my mom.

during the ride, i always find myself crying while looking out the window.

most of the time it enters my mind to transfer back at home and live with my mom. but then, i knew there are greater things in store for me here and i know my mom wishes me the best always.

but everytime i go home, i always end up wishing i could stay there.

i feel that i am really torn into shooting for the best and making the most of my life. why is it that to have what we want, we must compromise, and tell you, compromise great things?

no one can have it all. then it only implies that happiness is out of this world.

posted by anthonette at 8:51 AM