Saturday, November 25, 2006
guess what. little miss all-her-dreams-are-shattered comes to visit.
my dear sibs. can i ask you all a favor? can we keep this group blog private? i mean, you all know my mom reads my own blog regularly, and there are just some things i so damn need to write down to let go of, but can't because i know she'll make a big deal out of it. i've been trying to find where i can restrict the blog so that it can only be viewed by the authors, but i can't find it. so i thought i'd just go and tell you and still post away.*i think the way i'm writing all these is influenced by too much One Tree Hill*
well anyway.
sorry for this everyone, i just got to get this out.
i'm hating 'her' right now. i just can't understand anymore why she gets everything that "I" want. as if she hasn't already gotten everything i had ever wanted, she continues on her dream-stealing spree. i know she's not doing it on purpose, but i can't help feeling envious and jealous, and just mad at her. heck, i'm not even mad at her, i'm just mad at what she's doing. i want to hate her so badly but i still can't. so i end up hating myself instead. i don't know if what she unintentionally puts me through should encourage me, or just break me even worse than i already am. all my dreams have almost come true, only not to me. TO HER. and she doesn't even want them as bad as i do. but she gets them all anyway.
darn. guess i ought to explain why i'm wasting space on this blog, which for the moment i have assumed would be accomodating to my pathetic little drama show.
okay. so after she gets to be pep squad star, and little miss hey-ive-got-HERperfect-boyfriend, and the effortless honor student, and the she-doesnt-have-a-picture-with-HER-musical-idol-but-i-do gig-goer , and the object of everyone's attention... she just goes and asks me to teach her MUSIC! guess what, just after i quit my band, which was probably the only thing that would have really given me happiness for the most part of my senior year, she decides to have her own band.
great. torture me more.
posted by riela jae at 6:14 AM
